"Isn't it funny how we say 'take a piss' and 'take a shit;' you don't take 'em, ya leave 'em!"
George Carlin
*NOTE: If you are squeamish, you might not want to read the following post :0)
So, we truck drivers are a nasty bunch, aren't we? I mean, carrying around our urine in empty
milk jugs (or other containers) is a disgusting habit. But it's necessary at times - I'm just speaking for myself, but I don't run into rest areas or truckstops "in synch" with my bladder, so
I go when I'm stopped, usually when I'm at a store. Sure, I'll use the store's restroom, if it's available. That's a big IF. Sometimes there's a bunch of crap (no pun intended) piled into the restroom (garbage cans, racks, etc.) or, if it's a long walk to the men's room, I'll just break out the ol' milk jug. You get a little paranoid, because there's invariably people walking or driving past. I always say "You vants to see me pecker?" Yeah, I'm a little strange. Before I became
familiar with using the milk jugs, I'd just go in my empty coffee thermos, pour it out onto the grass, and just make sure I rinsed it out real good before putting more coffee in there. Who wants salty coffee? Shit, I've even gone while in motion: it's tricky; you have to lower the seat down all the way, undo yer zipper, whip it out, kinda stand up, then position the container under your Johnson, all while keeping the truck between the lines. I don't recommend doing it, but if your on a tight schedule and can't/don't wanna stop, it can be done! I don't think you can do it with your seatbelt on, so the times I've done it have been middle of the night, when there's hardly any traffic.
Urinating outdoors is a wonderful thing. There's the freedom of having your willie out in the fresh air (ahh!), and the thrill and excitement of doing something naughty, which you could get in trouble for, if you're caught. Usually, when I do it, it's pitch dark, and I go behind a dumpster.
It's smelly back there anyway, so what's the diff? I know you lady drivers can't really do it, and there's a whole different set of rules when it comes to women drivers, so I won't comment on that. All I know is, the milk jug is "the way" when it comes to me, as a guy, out there on the road. Look in any truckstop garbage can, and you'll probably see a container full of yellow liquid. Hint: it ain't apple juice! I've heard all kinds of stories about drivers and their filled jugs - one guy in IA was tossing his over a fence, right into someone's back yard - I heard this on the radio about a year ago, and laughed my ass off when I heard it. Drivers can be inconsiderate when it comes to disposing of their jugs, even at my company. My boss has told me that, on more than one occasion, he's had to throw out jugs of piss left by dumbass, selfish drivers. Geez! I mean, I've said before, I'm not the cleanest guy in the world, but I'll at least police up my own garbage and toss it out at the end of my run.
Now we come to #2. Yeah, it's a topic (again, paraphrasing George Carlin:) everybody does, but nobody wants to talk about. Look, we're all human beings, and our bodies all work pretty much the same way. The differences are basically in the intensity. So, whether you're in a line of stalls
at the truckstop, or all alone in the wide-open store in the middle of the night, "when ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" Yeah, I've heard the most outrageous sounding passing of gas (I always make
the "oooh, me likey" face, then try to stop myself from busting out laughing - told ya I was sick!)
Well, here's my worst exploding-bowel story: I'm sitting at the truckstop in Dubuque. I don't remember what the fuck I had to eat, but it sure as hell didn't agree with me. So, it's about 10 at night, and my gut is just on fire! I wake up, look outside, and, sure as shit, it's raining cats and dogs. I know something bad is gonna happen soon. I usually have some Pepto-Bismol with me, and that generally will settle me down, but not on this night. So, thinking quickly, I grab my knife, cut the top off the milk jug, squat over it, and let 'er rip! Had plenty of TP, as I mentioned before (I just steal a roll from the stores). But, and this is the disgusting part, I just left the container in the cab overnight, drew the curtains, and went back to sleep. I figured, "Shit, I'm the only one that has to smell it, and I'll have plenty of time to air out the cab tomorrow."
Anyway, my problem lately is actually the opposite: my body kind of "locks up," so I can't go,
and I'm bound-up for a couple of days till I get home, then (ahhh!) it's like my whole body just relaxes, and I'm on the pot for a half hour. I compare it to a fist: it's clenched-up during the week, then unclenches when the stress is taken away. I know it's purely psychological, although the wife has recommended I use her all-natural laxative (maybe I'll try it). So, are you thoroughly disgusted yet? Anyway, that's it, not too painful, right?
More soon,
Steve
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Cheeseland
"I'm going to Cheeseland, Cheeseland, the
Dells and Door County..." parody of "Graceland" by Paul Simon, dunno who sang it (sorry)
So, what can I say about our hefty neighbors to the north? I mean, besides the fact that they talk funny? Well, they do make fine dairy products, beer, and bratwurst up there. See, I'm starting off nice! Anyway, I've been going up there for basically as long as I can remember, sometimes to deliver, almost always to pick up (you guessed it!) CHEESE! We pick up all our mozzarella from a little dairy in the central part of the state (can't say which) - most of it is for
our own distribution center, but not all. Some truckloads get shipped off to Ohio, Georgia and other states. There must be other cheese suppliers for our company, but I don't know who/where they are. But again, it's the whole thing with the backhauls; cleaning out the trailers,
pre-cooling in the summer time, etc. The nice thing is that they're open good and early (5:00am I think) so you can get your last delivery off, and go right over there - kind of a pain to get to -
still, sometimes you have guys in there before you & have to wait, it's all part of the job. They load you up w/20 pallets usually on a 45foot trailer, and yer off! Of course you have to scale, 'cause it's about 38, 39K they put on, but they have one right there that you can use for free - you gotta scale each axle, the subtract the weight, etc., but it beats paying the $10, & $11 at a truckstop. I mean, the only weigh station you worry about is the Racine scale, which is not always open, but better safe than sorry. I always used the "7-hole" rule that I spoke of earlier, and I would slide the tandems before I got loaded, and damn if it didn't scale out perfect every time. That's on a 45 footer, 48's might be different, but not too much.
I haven't had to go pick up mozzarella on my current route, thank God! But there's other chit, like frozen thin crusts in Green Bay and parmesan in Plymouth. Oh, joy! I guess it's not too bad - both those place are real efficient, so you can get in & out relatively quickly, so I can't bitch too much. Yeah, so I'm coming south the other day, just having done my pickup in Green Bay, and lo and behold, I come up to the scales at Manitowoc. No problem, 7:00 am almost always closed, right? Not today. So, I roll in, turn off lights, roll down windows, roll onto the scale. I know I'm not heavy, 'cause I got 8 pallets at just over 10k. But the guy says "OK, pull around for a routine inspection." I'm like wtf! So, I bring all my paperwork in, everything was fine, just a routine check. The trooper was the nicest guy, so it was just the incovenience of having to stop. I have never been stopped before, so I was shitting my pants there for a minute. Now with the big inspections coming up (6/5 - 6/7) I can understand. Shit, I'd rather be certified legal than have to dick around with getting red flagged or something, ya know? I'm actually surprised the guy didn't inspect my brakes. Anyway, 15 minutes later I was rolling again, so no biggie.
Look, I rail against the Cheese-dicks and YaHeyDer and the ultra-Germanics of WI, but I really got no problem with any one person or place. I mean, I lived in Sheboygan for a year and a half.
It was an experiment that failed miserably, but it wasn't anyone's fault, except maybe mine & my wife's. Our daughter was like 1 1/2, and the place we were living was becoming more and more "dangerous" (you notice these things when you have kids). So, my old man lived up in Sheboygan, a wholesome-enough place, so we took the plunge. Well, it was a nightmare from the start. I couldn't find work, at least nothing in the "white-collar" area, where I was used to being at the time. The employment office said that 42% of all jobs in the area were in manufacturing.
That's quite a bit! So, I found a customer service job at a furniture manufacturer; that whole
period of time was a friggin' nightmare. It was winter, I had the car, so my wife and baby daughter were stuck in the house. Plus, as the downstairs tenants, we were responsible for shoveling the snow, mowing the lawn, etc. WTF! The idiots upstairs didn't have to do a damn thing. Well, I got fired from the furniture place after 3 or 4 months; I just didn't get all the engineering bullshit they made us learn. But, looking back, that's ok. I found a job at a window-screen company, where I was "working", ya know; simple pretty mindless stuff, which was fine.
Then, I come home one day, and the wife's gone, she took the kid & moved back to Chicago without warning (that's a book by itself). She left me the dog to take care of though, geesh!
Anyhow, 6 months later, we reconciled, I moved back to Chicago, and the "experiment" was over. Our biggest complaints was that the things we were used to (24 hr. grocery store, for example) they just didn't have up there. It seemed everything closed by like 6 or 7pm, and nothing was open on Sundays, except the churches of course. The weather was kinda cold there, too, 'cause that part of WI juts out into Lake Michigan (check yer atlas) so the cool lake breezes come in and freeze ya!
But it's done; now it's just a drive-by. I had a couple friends I stayed in touch with, but eventually, well, you know. So, now I'm just up there part of Thurs. and Fri. - everything has gone fairly smoothly, maybe except for the weather, but that's coming around, too. I really can't complain too much. Just glad I'm not in Michigan. Anyway, the talk of keeping me out in IA for three days, with one overnight in Chicago (my previous schedule) has become more serious, so it appears I won't be long for America's Dairyland.
More soon,
Steve
P.S. All you drivers watch out for the roadside inspections (see above) 'cause I'm "crappin' you negative"
Dells and Door County..." parody of "Graceland" by Paul Simon, dunno who sang it (sorry)
So, what can I say about our hefty neighbors to the north? I mean, besides the fact that they talk funny? Well, they do make fine dairy products, beer, and bratwurst up there. See, I'm starting off nice! Anyway, I've been going up there for basically as long as I can remember, sometimes to deliver, almost always to pick up (you guessed it!) CHEESE! We pick up all our mozzarella from a little dairy in the central part of the state (can't say which) - most of it is for
our own distribution center, but not all. Some truckloads get shipped off to Ohio, Georgia and other states. There must be other cheese suppliers for our company, but I don't know who/where they are. But again, it's the whole thing with the backhauls; cleaning out the trailers,
pre-cooling in the summer time, etc. The nice thing is that they're open good and early (5:00am I think) so you can get your last delivery off, and go right over there - kind of a pain to get to -
still, sometimes you have guys in there before you & have to wait, it's all part of the job. They load you up w/20 pallets usually on a 45foot trailer, and yer off! Of course you have to scale, 'cause it's about 38, 39K they put on, but they have one right there that you can use for free - you gotta scale each axle, the subtract the weight, etc., but it beats paying the $10, & $11 at a truckstop. I mean, the only weigh station you worry about is the Racine scale, which is not always open, but better safe than sorry. I always used the "7-hole" rule that I spoke of earlier, and I would slide the tandems before I got loaded, and damn if it didn't scale out perfect every time. That's on a 45 footer, 48's might be different, but not too much.
I haven't had to go pick up mozzarella on my current route, thank God! But there's other chit, like frozen thin crusts in Green Bay and parmesan in Plymouth. Oh, joy! I guess it's not too bad - both those place are real efficient, so you can get in & out relatively quickly, so I can't bitch too much. Yeah, so I'm coming south the other day, just having done my pickup in Green Bay, and lo and behold, I come up to the scales at Manitowoc. No problem, 7:00 am almost always closed, right? Not today. So, I roll in, turn off lights, roll down windows, roll onto the scale. I know I'm not heavy, 'cause I got 8 pallets at just over 10k. But the guy says "OK, pull around for a routine inspection." I'm like wtf! So, I bring all my paperwork in, everything was fine, just a routine check. The trooper was the nicest guy, so it was just the incovenience of having to stop. I have never been stopped before, so I was shitting my pants there for a minute. Now with the big inspections coming up (6/5 - 6/7) I can understand. Shit, I'd rather be certified legal than have to dick around with getting red flagged or something, ya know? I'm actually surprised the guy didn't inspect my brakes. Anyway, 15 minutes later I was rolling again, so no biggie.
Look, I rail against the Cheese-dicks and YaHeyDer and the ultra-Germanics of WI, but I really got no problem with any one person or place. I mean, I lived in Sheboygan for a year and a half.
It was an experiment that failed miserably, but it wasn't anyone's fault, except maybe mine & my wife's. Our daughter was like 1 1/2, and the place we were living was becoming more and more "dangerous" (you notice these things when you have kids). So, my old man lived up in Sheboygan, a wholesome-enough place, so we took the plunge. Well, it was a nightmare from the start. I couldn't find work, at least nothing in the "white-collar" area, where I was used to being at the time. The employment office said that 42% of all jobs in the area were in manufacturing.
That's quite a bit! So, I found a customer service job at a furniture manufacturer; that whole
period of time was a friggin' nightmare. It was winter, I had the car, so my wife and baby daughter were stuck in the house. Plus, as the downstairs tenants, we were responsible for shoveling the snow, mowing the lawn, etc. WTF! The idiots upstairs didn't have to do a damn thing. Well, I got fired from the furniture place after 3 or 4 months; I just didn't get all the engineering bullshit they made us learn. But, looking back, that's ok. I found a job at a window-screen company, where I was "working", ya know; simple pretty mindless stuff, which was fine.
Then, I come home one day, and the wife's gone, she took the kid & moved back to Chicago without warning (that's a book by itself). She left me the dog to take care of though, geesh!
Anyhow, 6 months later, we reconciled, I moved back to Chicago, and the "experiment" was over. Our biggest complaints was that the things we were used to (24 hr. grocery store, for example) they just didn't have up there. It seemed everything closed by like 6 or 7pm, and nothing was open on Sundays, except the churches of course. The weather was kinda cold there, too, 'cause that part of WI juts out into Lake Michigan (check yer atlas) so the cool lake breezes come in and freeze ya!
But it's done; now it's just a drive-by. I had a couple friends I stayed in touch with, but eventually, well, you know. So, now I'm just up there part of Thurs. and Fri. - everything has gone fairly smoothly, maybe except for the weather, but that's coming around, too. I really can't complain too much. Just glad I'm not in Michigan. Anyway, the talk of keeping me out in IA for three days, with one overnight in Chicago (my previous schedule) has become more serious, so it appears I won't be long for America's Dairyland.
More soon,
Steve
P.S. All you drivers watch out for the roadside inspections (see above) 'cause I'm "crappin' you negative"
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Truckstops
"I gotta find a hole, in more ways than one..." me
Our home away from home, the fabulous truckstop. Oh, yes! Well, not being a true OTR trucker, I'm not as familiar with them as most of y'all, but I'll give you my impressions anyway.
We have the "Big 4," as I call them; you know them, right? Petro, Pilot, TA, and Flying J. I have my personal faves, for different reasons. Some I like because of the food, some because of the easy-ness of fueling, etc. I'm the kind of driver who likes the larger ones, with 24hr services. These little "hole-in-the-wall" places that shut down at 10pm, and open again at 5am are for the birds. I mean, sometimes you have to stop there, either because you're low on hours, nothing else around, breakdown, etc. But since I start at 2:00 in the morning sometimes, I need to have
a store where I can get coffee, cigs, etc. in the "middle of the night." I used to love to go to the World's Largest (debateable) Truckstop in Walcott, IA, usually on my way back from Des Moines. They have an incredible gift shop, and they added on this section with a truck showroom, with life-sized models of the more popular trucks, all shiny and chromed-out. Pretty
cool.
Then you have the "2nd tier" level of truckstops, not as many, but some still pretty big. Loves, Williams, AM Best, Sapp Bros., et al. Some of the larger gasoline chains have them as well: Citgo, BP, Mobil - I see a lot of these in WI, outside the larger cities. But again, ya gotta worry about the hours they're open. And many times, the only food they have is fast-food, chains that are
right there in the truckstop (Pilot/Arby's comes to mind). Some you can't even get hot food at, you have to do the old "chips and soda" routine, which gets old pretty fast. I dunno, after a hard day's work, I like the idea of being able to go in, sit down at a restaurant, and be served a hot meal (preferably by a hot waitress - those are few and far-between). Call me crazy, but that's my preference. Then, I'll go into the shop and buy a bunch of desserty kind of junk food for later. See, once I go back to the truck, I'm pretty much done. Once I take my workboots off, I really don't want to have to put them back on again. Sometimes I have to, like when the reefer's fucking up, or another driver's meeting me to bring/take something. I bought a pair of shower shoes (flip-flops) a long time ago, so sometimes I'll throw them on if I have to walk back into the truckstop to take a dump or whatever.
Rest stops are popular with some guys, I dunno why. Again, I thinks it's probably out of necesssity rather than anything else. I've often cruised by them at 4 or 5am, and they're totally packed. The "Oasis" system on the Illinois tollroads are kinda like "mini-truckstops," only the parking is very limited, and those poor bastards that don't get a spot have to park on the shoulders and walk. The ones I can't figure out for the life of me are the drivers who park on offramps and onramps. Nothing else around, out in the middle of nowhere. I guess if you have the shits in the middle of the night, you have to go in the bushes. Not my idea of a good time, although I do carry a roll of toilet paper with me just in case of such an emergency. I'll talk more about "Bodily Functions" in an upcoming post. But again, no hot coffee in the "wee hours" is my biggest reason for not parking on shoulders or rest stops (unless you enjoy vending machine coffee - blecchhh!).
I think all you non-truck drivers should experience a truckstop at least once in your lifetimes,
to see how "the other half" lives. And believe me, they are the "other half." I mean, c'mon people! Let's not perpetuate the stereotype of truckers as inbred, toothless, tobacco-spitting
morons. But I'll bet money if you non-truckers go to one, you'll see exactly that. Look, I ain't the cleanest, best smelling guy in the world, but at least I believe in getting a haircut once in a while, and I "own a comb." (tip of the hat to Chris Farley). Some truckstops are more "family-friendly" than others (I won't say which), and some truckers resent that. I mean, it's understandable - who wants to hear a baby crying when you're trying to enjoy your meal after a particularly grueling day? Not me, although it really doesn't bother me all that much. Shit, I only stay at them a couple nights a week, so standing behind the old foagies that can't make up their minds as to what they want to eat ain't that big of a deal. Sure, I get impatient, but not enough to say anything.
The best resource for a truck driver is the truckstop directory. I mean, you can "wing it" and hope you find one along the way. When I first started out with Werner, they told you which truckstops you had to go to, so there really wasn't much choice (wtf?). But that little book has saved my ass on more than one occasion. I remember going up to the UP of Michigan, and there
might be 2 truckstops up there. But I found one - it wasn't the greatest, but...See, that's one of my biggest concerns; being out there and not having a safe place to shut down. Next to getting lost, it's probably my biggest fear. You know, just roaming around, looking for a place, while your hours dwindle down. Not a pleasant thought, is it? Shit, for $10 you can at least have a little sense of security. It's the same with a trucker's atlas; I don't know why anyone who considers themselves a professional truck driver would NOT have a trucker's atlas. It's the best source of info. you could possibly want. Yes, they are expensive, but how much $ is "peace of mind" worth? Think about it.
More soon,
Steve
Our home away from home, the fabulous truckstop. Oh, yes! Well, not being a true OTR trucker, I'm not as familiar with them as most of y'all, but I'll give you my impressions anyway.
We have the "Big 4," as I call them; you know them, right? Petro, Pilot, TA, and Flying J. I have my personal faves, for different reasons. Some I like because of the food, some because of the easy-ness of fueling, etc. I'm the kind of driver who likes the larger ones, with 24hr services. These little "hole-in-the-wall" places that shut down at 10pm, and open again at 5am are for the birds. I mean, sometimes you have to stop there, either because you're low on hours, nothing else around, breakdown, etc. But since I start at 2:00 in the morning sometimes, I need to have
a store where I can get coffee, cigs, etc. in the "middle of the night." I used to love to go to the World's Largest (debateable) Truckstop in Walcott, IA, usually on my way back from Des Moines. They have an incredible gift shop, and they added on this section with a truck showroom, with life-sized models of the more popular trucks, all shiny and chromed-out. Pretty
cool.
Then you have the "2nd tier" level of truckstops, not as many, but some still pretty big. Loves, Williams, AM Best, Sapp Bros., et al. Some of the larger gasoline chains have them as well: Citgo, BP, Mobil - I see a lot of these in WI, outside the larger cities. But again, ya gotta worry about the hours they're open. And many times, the only food they have is fast-food, chains that are
right there in the truckstop (Pilot/Arby's comes to mind). Some you can't even get hot food at, you have to do the old "chips and soda" routine, which gets old pretty fast. I dunno, after a hard day's work, I like the idea of being able to go in, sit down at a restaurant, and be served a hot meal (preferably by a hot waitress - those are few and far-between). Call me crazy, but that's my preference. Then, I'll go into the shop and buy a bunch of desserty kind of junk food for later. See, once I go back to the truck, I'm pretty much done. Once I take my workboots off, I really don't want to have to put them back on again. Sometimes I have to, like when the reefer's fucking up, or another driver's meeting me to bring/take something. I bought a pair of shower shoes (flip-flops) a long time ago, so sometimes I'll throw them on if I have to walk back into the truckstop to take a dump or whatever.
Rest stops are popular with some guys, I dunno why. Again, I thinks it's probably out of necesssity rather than anything else. I've often cruised by them at 4 or 5am, and they're totally packed. The "Oasis" system on the Illinois tollroads are kinda like "mini-truckstops," only the parking is very limited, and those poor bastards that don't get a spot have to park on the shoulders and walk. The ones I can't figure out for the life of me are the drivers who park on offramps and onramps. Nothing else around, out in the middle of nowhere. I guess if you have the shits in the middle of the night, you have to go in the bushes. Not my idea of a good time, although I do carry a roll of toilet paper with me just in case of such an emergency. I'll talk more about "Bodily Functions" in an upcoming post. But again, no hot coffee in the "wee hours" is my biggest reason for not parking on shoulders or rest stops (unless you enjoy vending machine coffee - blecchhh!).
I think all you non-truck drivers should experience a truckstop at least once in your lifetimes,
to see how "the other half" lives. And believe me, they are the "other half." I mean, c'mon people! Let's not perpetuate the stereotype of truckers as inbred, toothless, tobacco-spitting
morons. But I'll bet money if you non-truckers go to one, you'll see exactly that. Look, I ain't the cleanest, best smelling guy in the world, but at least I believe in getting a haircut once in a while, and I "own a comb." (tip of the hat to Chris Farley). Some truckstops are more "family-friendly" than others (I won't say which), and some truckers resent that. I mean, it's understandable - who wants to hear a baby crying when you're trying to enjoy your meal after a particularly grueling day? Not me, although it really doesn't bother me all that much. Shit, I only stay at them a couple nights a week, so standing behind the old foagies that can't make up their minds as to what they want to eat ain't that big of a deal. Sure, I get impatient, but not enough to say anything.
The best resource for a truck driver is the truckstop directory. I mean, you can "wing it" and hope you find one along the way. When I first started out with Werner, they told you which truckstops you had to go to, so there really wasn't much choice (wtf?). But that little book has saved my ass on more than one occasion. I remember going up to the UP of Michigan, and there
might be 2 truckstops up there. But I found one - it wasn't the greatest, but...See, that's one of my biggest concerns; being out there and not having a safe place to shut down. Next to getting lost, it's probably my biggest fear. You know, just roaming around, looking for a place, while your hours dwindle down. Not a pleasant thought, is it? Shit, for $10 you can at least have a little sense of security. It's the same with a trucker's atlas; I don't know why anyone who considers themselves a professional truck driver would NOT have a trucker's atlas. It's the best source of info. you could possibly want. Yes, they are expensive, but how much $ is "peace of mind" worth? Think about it.
More soon,
Steve
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Tidbits, pt. 3
"What we have here, is a failure to communicate..." from the movie "Cool Hand Luke"
I am a fucking warrior, ok? In my line of work, you really have to be. I mean, I can take anything these a-holes dish out, come out smelling like a rose, and come back asking for more.
I take no prisoners, and I absolutely take no shit off anyone. That includes my bosses! I figure,
if push comes to shove, I can just tell 'em "Kiss my ass" and walk out the door. There is still a nationwide shortage of drivers ( I mean good drivers), so I'm pretty safe in the knowledge that I can find a job quickly if necessary.
Here's an example of what I mean: last week I get to my Rockford store at 3:30 am and there's a guy in there stripping and waxing the floors. I knew there was going to be trouble when I saw his van parked in front, but I went in anyway. He said "Don't come in here! I just put stripper down..." So, despite the fact that I always delivered this store thru the front door, I went around back and tried to get in. The floor guy was nice enough to open the back door for me.
No dice. The door opened about two feet, blocked on one side by a concrete post, and there's this gigantic dumpster right on the other side - no way for me to squeeze the two-wheeler through.
So I called it in - dispatch said bypass it, move on to the next stop, and double-back to get that store later. I'm also having reefer troubles, and it's raining like a son of a bitch, right? So, I get the reefer taken care of, do my other stops, but I have to make it back to base within 14 hours, and in enough time to do my Thurs. route up to WI. So, I'm done in Rock Island, dreading having to go back to Rockford (a 2hour trip), my dispatcher says, "Why don't we just put it on your WI route?" I said "Fine." But that opened up another world of problems. Now on Thurs.,
I gotta go Mundelein, then Rockford, then all the way back to Kenosha, Racine, etc. I managed it fine, it was just a major pain in the ass.
So, the following week, I do the Rockford store on the first day (Tue) and my last stop is Machesney Park, just north of Rockford. I fucked up and forgot to deliver 20 bales of flour and 20 bales of pizza boxes, which the store had added on and I didn't notice on the invoice. So, I thought "No problem, I'm shut down in Rockford, I'll just leave early, go back to Machesney, drop their stuff off, and boom, off to Dubuque," right? Well, I also figured I'd go through the front door there, because they're digging up the back road/alley there and it's a pain to get into the back parking lot these days. So I pull in the front lot (this time about 4:30am) and, guess who's there? You got it, the floor guy! I'm like, "What the fuck?" So, again, I go back around back, deliver the load, and go. But the full moon must really be fucking with me, ya know?
The bigger problem here is not me running out of time - it's the fact that the morons at the stores did not inform us there would be a floor guy at either location, nor did they tell him that we would be there doing deliveries overnight. So we kind of have to get out of each other's way.
Sometimes there will be construction guys working, doing remodeling at one of the stores; those guys are pretty cool, and it's not a huge inconvenience "working around" them. But not being able to walk on the floor, that's a little different... The aggravating thing is, it won't change: there's no real communication between the store level and the distribution system (at least as far as I can tell), so surprises like this will continue to occur, you just have to deal with it, and go with the flow.
Since I started at 4:00 am, I have until 6:00pm ( 14 hrs) before my time runs out, right?
Ok, so I have my 2 Dubuque stores, then I have a "special" up in Bumblefuck, WI at 11:00am
then down to Rock Island, I figure by 1:30 or so, then I have to do a pickup in Bettendorf (some plastic pallets or something) and back to Chicago before 6:00. Question is, can I make it? I've never been to either the special location or the pickup in Bettendorf, but I have maps to both places. And it's 3 hours from the Quad Cities to Chicago, so I have to be out of Bettendorf before 3:00. Well, the key here was the special delivery. Since I normally get done in Dubuque around 9:30am, I just called the guy and asked for directions ("Can I get a semi into your place?" etc)
As a side note, you just say "Oh, by the way, is it ok if I get there a few minutes early?" Nine times out of ten they'll say "Sure, come on over," which is exactly what this guy said. So, I was able to get to his place by 10:25 or so, and out by 10:45. Now I'm a good 45 mins ahead of schedule, which allows me to do the Rock Island delivery (12:45 - 1:30) get to Bettendorf by 2:00, out by 2:30, and on the road back to Chicago. I made it to the base at almost exactly 5:30.
That's what I mean. See, a lesser driver (less organized, etc.) would not have made it, would have been forced to shut down on the side of the road, then wait 10 hrs before finishing the trip.
Our onboard recorders are basically "bypass-proof," so you can't cheat, like you could if you were on paper logs. And there have been times when guys have had to shut down on the side of the road, because they ran out of time. That's the way it is, and they enforce it like a son of a bitch.
More soon,
Steve
I am a fucking warrior, ok? In my line of work, you really have to be. I mean, I can take anything these a-holes dish out, come out smelling like a rose, and come back asking for more.
I take no prisoners, and I absolutely take no shit off anyone. That includes my bosses! I figure,
if push comes to shove, I can just tell 'em "Kiss my ass" and walk out the door. There is still a nationwide shortage of drivers ( I mean good drivers), so I'm pretty safe in the knowledge that I can find a job quickly if necessary.
Here's an example of what I mean: last week I get to my Rockford store at 3:30 am and there's a guy in there stripping and waxing the floors. I knew there was going to be trouble when I saw his van parked in front, but I went in anyway. He said "Don't come in here! I just put stripper down..." So, despite the fact that I always delivered this store thru the front door, I went around back and tried to get in. The floor guy was nice enough to open the back door for me.
No dice. The door opened about two feet, blocked on one side by a concrete post, and there's this gigantic dumpster right on the other side - no way for me to squeeze the two-wheeler through.
So I called it in - dispatch said bypass it, move on to the next stop, and double-back to get that store later. I'm also having reefer troubles, and it's raining like a son of a bitch, right? So, I get the reefer taken care of, do my other stops, but I have to make it back to base within 14 hours, and in enough time to do my Thurs. route up to WI. So, I'm done in Rock Island, dreading having to go back to Rockford (a 2hour trip), my dispatcher says, "Why don't we just put it on your WI route?" I said "Fine." But that opened up another world of problems. Now on Thurs.,
I gotta go Mundelein, then Rockford, then all the way back to Kenosha, Racine, etc. I managed it fine, it was just a major pain in the ass.
So, the following week, I do the Rockford store on the first day (Tue) and my last stop is Machesney Park, just north of Rockford. I fucked up and forgot to deliver 20 bales of flour and 20 bales of pizza boxes, which the store had added on and I didn't notice on the invoice. So, I thought "No problem, I'm shut down in Rockford, I'll just leave early, go back to Machesney, drop their stuff off, and boom, off to Dubuque," right? Well, I also figured I'd go through the front door there, because they're digging up the back road/alley there and it's a pain to get into the back parking lot these days. So I pull in the front lot (this time about 4:30am) and, guess who's there? You got it, the floor guy! I'm like, "What the fuck?" So, again, I go back around back, deliver the load, and go. But the full moon must really be fucking with me, ya know?
The bigger problem here is not me running out of time - it's the fact that the morons at the stores did not inform us there would be a floor guy at either location, nor did they tell him that we would be there doing deliveries overnight. So we kind of have to get out of each other's way.
Sometimes there will be construction guys working, doing remodeling at one of the stores; those guys are pretty cool, and it's not a huge inconvenience "working around" them. But not being able to walk on the floor, that's a little different... The aggravating thing is, it won't change: there's no real communication between the store level and the distribution system (at least as far as I can tell), so surprises like this will continue to occur, you just have to deal with it, and go with the flow.
Since I started at 4:00 am, I have until 6:00pm ( 14 hrs) before my time runs out, right?
Ok, so I have my 2 Dubuque stores, then I have a "special" up in Bumblefuck, WI at 11:00am
then down to Rock Island, I figure by 1:30 or so, then I have to do a pickup in Bettendorf (some plastic pallets or something) and back to Chicago before 6:00. Question is, can I make it? I've never been to either the special location or the pickup in Bettendorf, but I have maps to both places. And it's 3 hours from the Quad Cities to Chicago, so I have to be out of Bettendorf before 3:00. Well, the key here was the special delivery. Since I normally get done in Dubuque around 9:30am, I just called the guy and asked for directions ("Can I get a semi into your place?" etc)
As a side note, you just say "Oh, by the way, is it ok if I get there a few minutes early?" Nine times out of ten they'll say "Sure, come on over," which is exactly what this guy said. So, I was able to get to his place by 10:25 or so, and out by 10:45. Now I'm a good 45 mins ahead of schedule, which allows me to do the Rock Island delivery (12:45 - 1:30) get to Bettendorf by 2:00, out by 2:30, and on the road back to Chicago. I made it to the base at almost exactly 5:30.
That's what I mean. See, a lesser driver (less organized, etc.) would not have made it, would have been forced to shut down on the side of the road, then wait 10 hrs before finishing the trip.
Our onboard recorders are basically "bypass-proof," so you can't cheat, like you could if you were on paper logs. And there have been times when guys have had to shut down on the side of the road, because they ran out of time. That's the way it is, and they enforce it like a son of a bitch.
More soon,
Steve
Monday, April 30, 2007
Night People
"Have you ever been accosted/assaulted by a street person?" question I'd like to ask my boss
Yeah, working at night is different: there isn't as much traffic, which is a good thing, although you don't know about the people that are out there; what they've been doing, toxins they've been ingesting, etc., so in a way you need to be even more careful. I've seen some very peculiar behavior. Look, it's bad enough that we have to do this job at night, because you cannot get into these strip malls during the day, but then to have someone "fuck" with you, sometimes it's all I can do to not just lose it, ya know? Not only the vagrants, etc., I've also had to deal with cops, firefighters, garbage guys, you name it. And all I want to do is my friggin' job!
I guess the craziest thing I've seen happened on the road; I was coming back from Milwaukee
(I think) last summer and, heading southbound on the Dan Ryan, I was a mile or so from the I57 split. So I'm in the correct lane to stay on 94eastbound (Bishop Ford) when I see this black Caddy come flying past me in the far right lane, he lost control right under the overpass (95th
street?), scraped up against the wall, went flying out into traffic, hit at least one car, spun around, and bam! hit the same concrete wall he'd just scraped up against. I was about a quarter mile back, but I saw the whole thing happen right in front of me. Then, as if it wasn't weird enough, the guy jumps out of the car, doubled over in pain, and takes off running, up the embankment and into the night. As I passed by, I could not believe my eyes. I figured, yeah that car's stolen, and who knows what other kind of mischief the dude was wanted for.
Usually, though, you'll be doing your delivery, and someone will approach you begging for money. If I have an extra dollar I'll usually give it to them, saying "That's all I got, man."
I remember there was this guy on Leonard (?) St. in Grand Rapids, he'd show up every week
at the same time, always offering to help unload, then he'd hit you up. But this was no "spare change" guy, he'd ask for $5 or $10. I be like "What?" He'd say "Yeah, you truck drivers make a lot of money, right?" I'd give him a couple bucks and say "Now, get the fuck outta here!"
Then, he'd wave to me as I drove past on my way out of there.
Usually a dollar or a cigarette will satisfy the beggar; one guy wanted to "look at" my truck:
he said he used to be a driver, lost his license, etc. (violins). So, he walked slowly around the truck and trailer, as if he were doing a thorough pre-trip inspection - very strange. I had to keep my eye on him as I delivered, to make sure he didn't reach into the cab or something.
I've been propositioned a couple of times; once the woman just said "Would you like some company?" I said "Sorry, I'm working." Another one, a homely-ass broad, drove up in her car,
said she needed gas money, and offered to give me a blow job. "I swallow," she said. I thought "Yeah, good for you." Those three incidents happened in Rockford, in a seedier part of town.
I dunno, maybe I'm an easy touch, or look like one anyway. See, I rather be "flashed," which has never happened to me, than propositioned by a "crack-ho." Another point about street beggars:
I am always aware of the knife I keep in my left pants pocket (for cutting through shrink-wrap, etc.) just in case someone gets pushy, ya know? I mean, I have a lot more to lose than they do, but, if it comes down to it...
The cops have usually showed up when I've set alarms off; that's happend a couple times, no big deal. Sometimes they want your I.D., but I always cooperate. I learned long ago that it's not worth it to give the cops a hard time; they're just doing their job, too. There were a couple of instances, especially with this bagel company (which we no longer deal with) when we got complaints from the neighbors about noise. You know, the truck idling, the reefer raging, etc.
Of course, me cursing and swearing out loud (usually about the fucked-up job the warehouse guys do) didn't help. But they just gave you a warning: tone it down or you have to come back later in the day. "Yes sir!" is about all you can say at that point. I set a smoke alarm off once in
Kalamazoo, it was the strangest thing. I thought I'd set off the store alarm, but the fire dept.
showed up, not the cops. So, they checked the store out, but the manager had to be called, etc.
It was a big mess. I think what happened (shhhhh, don't tell anyone!) is that, as I entered the store, I had a cig in my mouth; I was only in there for a minute before getting rid of it, but that must have set off the smoke alarm - wierd.
And, of course, you have our friends the garbage guys. Talk about noise! Geesh! And smell!
Anyway, I haven't had any real run-ins with 'em. In fact, I'll go out of my way to cooperate with them (kinda like the cops). I figue the sooner they get in and out of the spot, the sooner I can get my job done. So, I'll move outta the way if they need me to. Sometimes it's a pain, especially if you already have your ramp set up and everything, but...Now I know to try and park so they
have access to the dumpsters without hitting me, or having to go through major changes. Hey, I know what it feels like to have obstacles thrown in your way, when, like I said, all you want to do is your friggin' job!
I'd say the "night" people are pretty much done, and the "morning" people are getting up, somewhere between 3 and 4 in the morning. I dunno, I haven't studied it that closely. I'm always grateful for the sunrise. Not only have the "vampires" gone away, but, since I've been busting my ass for several hours now, the daylight gives me that "second wind" I need to finish off my day.
More soon,
Steve
Yeah, working at night is different: there isn't as much traffic, which is a good thing, although you don't know about the people that are out there; what they've been doing, toxins they've been ingesting, etc., so in a way you need to be even more careful. I've seen some very peculiar behavior. Look, it's bad enough that we have to do this job at night, because you cannot get into these strip malls during the day, but then to have someone "fuck" with you, sometimes it's all I can do to not just lose it, ya know? Not only the vagrants, etc., I've also had to deal with cops, firefighters, garbage guys, you name it. And all I want to do is my friggin' job!
I guess the craziest thing I've seen happened on the road; I was coming back from Milwaukee
(I think) last summer and, heading southbound on the Dan Ryan, I was a mile or so from the I57 split. So I'm in the correct lane to stay on 94eastbound (Bishop Ford) when I see this black Caddy come flying past me in the far right lane, he lost control right under the overpass (95th
street?), scraped up against the wall, went flying out into traffic, hit at least one car, spun around, and bam! hit the same concrete wall he'd just scraped up against. I was about a quarter mile back, but I saw the whole thing happen right in front of me. Then, as if it wasn't weird enough, the guy jumps out of the car, doubled over in pain, and takes off running, up the embankment and into the night. As I passed by, I could not believe my eyes. I figured, yeah that car's stolen, and who knows what other kind of mischief the dude was wanted for.
Usually, though, you'll be doing your delivery, and someone will approach you begging for money. If I have an extra dollar I'll usually give it to them, saying "That's all I got, man."
I remember there was this guy on Leonard (?) St. in Grand Rapids, he'd show up every week
at the same time, always offering to help unload, then he'd hit you up. But this was no "spare change" guy, he'd ask for $5 or $10. I be like "What?" He'd say "Yeah, you truck drivers make a lot of money, right?" I'd give him a couple bucks and say "Now, get the fuck outta here!"
Then, he'd wave to me as I drove past on my way out of there.
Usually a dollar or a cigarette will satisfy the beggar; one guy wanted to "look at" my truck:
he said he used to be a driver, lost his license, etc. (violins). So, he walked slowly around the truck and trailer, as if he were doing a thorough pre-trip inspection - very strange. I had to keep my eye on him as I delivered, to make sure he didn't reach into the cab or something.
I've been propositioned a couple of times; once the woman just said "Would you like some company?" I said "Sorry, I'm working." Another one, a homely-ass broad, drove up in her car,
said she needed gas money, and offered to give me a blow job. "I swallow," she said. I thought "Yeah, good for you." Those three incidents happened in Rockford, in a seedier part of town.
I dunno, maybe I'm an easy touch, or look like one anyway. See, I rather be "flashed," which has never happened to me, than propositioned by a "crack-ho." Another point about street beggars:
I am always aware of the knife I keep in my left pants pocket (for cutting through shrink-wrap, etc.) just in case someone gets pushy, ya know? I mean, I have a lot more to lose than they do, but, if it comes down to it...
The cops have usually showed up when I've set alarms off; that's happend a couple times, no big deal. Sometimes they want your I.D., but I always cooperate. I learned long ago that it's not worth it to give the cops a hard time; they're just doing their job, too. There were a couple of instances, especially with this bagel company (which we no longer deal with) when we got complaints from the neighbors about noise. You know, the truck idling, the reefer raging, etc.
Of course, me cursing and swearing out loud (usually about the fucked-up job the warehouse guys do) didn't help. But they just gave you a warning: tone it down or you have to come back later in the day. "Yes sir!" is about all you can say at that point. I set a smoke alarm off once in
Kalamazoo, it was the strangest thing. I thought I'd set off the store alarm, but the fire dept.
showed up, not the cops. So, they checked the store out, but the manager had to be called, etc.
It was a big mess. I think what happened (shhhhh, don't tell anyone!) is that, as I entered the store, I had a cig in my mouth; I was only in there for a minute before getting rid of it, but that must have set off the smoke alarm - wierd.
And, of course, you have our friends the garbage guys. Talk about noise! Geesh! And smell!
Anyway, I haven't had any real run-ins with 'em. In fact, I'll go out of my way to cooperate with them (kinda like the cops). I figue the sooner they get in and out of the spot, the sooner I can get my job done. So, I'll move outta the way if they need me to. Sometimes it's a pain, especially if you already have your ramp set up and everything, but...Now I know to try and park so they
have access to the dumpsters without hitting me, or having to go through major changes. Hey, I know what it feels like to have obstacles thrown in your way, when, like I said, all you want to do is your friggin' job!
I'd say the "night" people are pretty much done, and the "morning" people are getting up, somewhere between 3 and 4 in the morning. I dunno, I haven't studied it that closely. I'm always grateful for the sunrise. Not only have the "vampires" gone away, but, since I've been busting my ass for several hours now, the daylight gives me that "second wind" I need to finish off my day.
More soon,
Steve
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Tidbits, pt. 2
"I don't know what it is you're doing, but it sure as hell AIN'T professional truck driving!" - me
There was a horrible accident two weeks ago (Fri., 4/6): A Wisconsin driver, coming up on 94 West through Chicago (by the way, we call it the Dan Ryan and Kennedy Expressways), got cut off by an SUV, hit a concrete pillar, rolled the truck, which burst into flames, killing the driver. It happened about 4:15 in the morning. I was in the city delivering at the time, so I didn't see the accident, but caught some of the aftermath while travelling eastbound around 7:30. I had a helper with me, and we were heading out to the far southern burbs to do our final delivery of the day. He quick turned on the radio, to get more details on the crash. All I could see, besides the bumper-to-bumper traffic in front of me, was the rolled-over trailer (yep, bright orange plate - WI). The truck was basically unrecognizable; we looked over in horror, at about 10mph, as crews cleaned up the scene. Needless to say, westbound traffic was backed up for miles. Traffic at that time on Friday morning is bad enough, and we were glad to make it through without too much trouble.
Now, let me just say that I'm sorry it happened - my sympathies go out to the driver's famly; however, these guys from Wisconsin (yes, Cheese-dicks) and points further north, wanting to avoid paying those "darn tolls" on 294 (the Tri-State), use the Ryan/Kennedy to come through the city. That's bad enough, ('cause, even at midnight, there's a bunch of 'em) but they drive "balls to the wall." They come flying through the Ryan construction zone (speed limit is 45) at
I dunno how fast. I mean, look, I'm not a prude; you don't HAVE to go 45 the whole time, but I just stay to the right and let 'em go. I'm sure the accident was the fault of the four-wheeler (I'm not sure of the percentage, but most accidents involving four-wheelers and trucks are the four-wheelers' fault), but I'm equally sure the truck was driving too fast. In fact, I'd bet money on it.
Here's a hint, all you Cheese-dicks out there: if you're tailgating a four-wheeler (and most of them fly!) you're driving too damn fast! It shouldn't take an accident for people to get the message, but you want to know the sad truth? Most of 'em won't. They'll just keep doing what they're doing, and forget about this driver, his family, even the driver of the four-wheeler (don't know what happenened to that person). How many more people will completely ignore the rules, and wind up crispy critters on the pavement? It's mind-boggling to me.
Anyway, that's my rant for the moment. By the way, I left the last post (Marissa) up for a couple weeks, because I wanted it to be viewed by as many as possible, maybe even her. Actually, I sent her a hard-copy in the mail, so maybe she'll actually read it, I dunno.
So, I've been going up to Cheeseland for the past couple of weeks (Green Bay- haven't run into Brett Favre, though, lol) It's a pretty nice drive, once you get past all the congestion in Milwaukee. Other drivers complain about Chicago, and how congested it is. I'm from there, so I actually have a clue as to how to get around. But places like Milwaukee (St. Louis is the worst I've run into) kind of piss me off. I was doing a route up there last summer, and I remember they closed the expressway down for several miles (how the fuck do you justify closing an interstate down?). Not only that, the detour was all fucked up; I couldn't, for the life of me, find my way back to the friggin' highway. I thought I'd never get out of Beerfart, er, Milwaukee.
And, like with most big cities now, they've got it under construction again. In Chicago, the saying used to be "We got two seasons here, winter and construction season," but now it seems like it's construction season all year round. Anyway, my route is pretty bearable; sometimes after my deliveries, I do a pickup or two, then head back home. Hell, now they're talking about sending me back out Marissa's way (Des Moines), which I obviously wouldn't mind one bit (wink!). In my line of work, nothing is constant but change. Speaking of pickups, I'm not the biggest fan of backhauls: I mean, I've busted my ass for two days, and now I have to clean out the trailer (dumping my shit into someone else's dumpsters - always had a problem with that), stack the pallets nice and neat, pre-cool the trailer, especially in summer, and do the damn pickup. Then, of course, you deal with the weight issues, because, in their sweet, backward fashion, Wisconsin doesn't use pre-pass, and I have not one, but two scales to deal with (Manitowoc and Racine).
Granted, my loads aren't usually that heavy, so I don't worry too much; I guess it's just the principle of the whole thing that bugs me. I'm doing not only my job (food service delivery), but
a trucker's job too (bumping docks, scaling, etc.). So we shall see how this pans out; whether I stay going up to Cheeseland or go back out to central Iowa - I will keep you all posted.
More soon,
Steve
There was a horrible accident two weeks ago (Fri., 4/6): A Wisconsin driver, coming up on 94 West through Chicago (by the way, we call it the Dan Ryan and Kennedy Expressways), got cut off by an SUV, hit a concrete pillar, rolled the truck, which burst into flames, killing the driver. It happened about 4:15 in the morning. I was in the city delivering at the time, so I didn't see the accident, but caught some of the aftermath while travelling eastbound around 7:30. I had a helper with me, and we were heading out to the far southern burbs to do our final delivery of the day. He quick turned on the radio, to get more details on the crash. All I could see, besides the bumper-to-bumper traffic in front of me, was the rolled-over trailer (yep, bright orange plate - WI). The truck was basically unrecognizable; we looked over in horror, at about 10mph, as crews cleaned up the scene. Needless to say, westbound traffic was backed up for miles. Traffic at that time on Friday morning is bad enough, and we were glad to make it through without too much trouble.
Now, let me just say that I'm sorry it happened - my sympathies go out to the driver's famly; however, these guys from Wisconsin (yes, Cheese-dicks) and points further north, wanting to avoid paying those "darn tolls" on 294 (the Tri-State), use the Ryan/Kennedy to come through the city. That's bad enough, ('cause, even at midnight, there's a bunch of 'em) but they drive "balls to the wall." They come flying through the Ryan construction zone (speed limit is 45) at
I dunno how fast. I mean, look, I'm not a prude; you don't HAVE to go 45 the whole time, but I just stay to the right and let 'em go. I'm sure the accident was the fault of the four-wheeler (I'm not sure of the percentage, but most accidents involving four-wheelers and trucks are the four-wheelers' fault), but I'm equally sure the truck was driving too fast. In fact, I'd bet money on it.
Here's a hint, all you Cheese-dicks out there: if you're tailgating a four-wheeler (and most of them fly!) you're driving too damn fast! It shouldn't take an accident for people to get the message, but you want to know the sad truth? Most of 'em won't. They'll just keep doing what they're doing, and forget about this driver, his family, even the driver of the four-wheeler (don't know what happenened to that person). How many more people will completely ignore the rules, and wind up crispy critters on the pavement? It's mind-boggling to me.
Anyway, that's my rant for the moment. By the way, I left the last post (Marissa) up for a couple weeks, because I wanted it to be viewed by as many as possible, maybe even her. Actually, I sent her a hard-copy in the mail, so maybe she'll actually read it, I dunno.
So, I've been going up to Cheeseland for the past couple of weeks (Green Bay- haven't run into Brett Favre, though, lol) It's a pretty nice drive, once you get past all the congestion in Milwaukee. Other drivers complain about Chicago, and how congested it is. I'm from there, so I actually have a clue as to how to get around. But places like Milwaukee (St. Louis is the worst I've run into) kind of piss me off. I was doing a route up there last summer, and I remember they closed the expressway down for several miles (how the fuck do you justify closing an interstate down?). Not only that, the detour was all fucked up; I couldn't, for the life of me, find my way back to the friggin' highway. I thought I'd never get out of Beerfart, er, Milwaukee.
And, like with most big cities now, they've got it under construction again. In Chicago, the saying used to be "We got two seasons here, winter and construction season," but now it seems like it's construction season all year round. Anyway, my route is pretty bearable; sometimes after my deliveries, I do a pickup or two, then head back home. Hell, now they're talking about sending me back out Marissa's way (Des Moines), which I obviously wouldn't mind one bit (wink!). In my line of work, nothing is constant but change. Speaking of pickups, I'm not the biggest fan of backhauls: I mean, I've busted my ass for two days, and now I have to clean out the trailer (dumping my shit into someone else's dumpsters - always had a problem with that), stack the pallets nice and neat, pre-cool the trailer, especially in summer, and do the damn pickup. Then, of course, you deal with the weight issues, because, in their sweet, backward fashion, Wisconsin doesn't use pre-pass, and I have not one, but two scales to deal with (Manitowoc and Racine).
Granted, my loads aren't usually that heavy, so I don't worry too much; I guess it's just the principle of the whole thing that bugs me. I'm doing not only my job (food service delivery), but
a trucker's job too (bumping docks, scaling, etc.). So we shall see how this pans out; whether I stay going up to Cheeseland or go back out to central Iowa - I will keep you all posted.
More soon,
Steve
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Lovely Marissa
"Once you seep in, under my skin, there's nothing in this world that could wash you away..."
Limp Bizkit "Eat you Alive"
Happy Easter, Everyone! This one is a bit difficult for me, because there are some emotions here that I'm still sorting through. What can I tell you about Marissa? Sounds like something from "The Sound of Music," doesn't it? All I'm going to say for now is that she works at a truckstop in Des Moines. I don't want her to catch too much hell for this. If you're a driver, and you visit the Des Moines area on a regular basis, you may have already run into her. See, I've seen my share of truckstop waitresses, and, with the exception of only a couple, they seem to be
middle-aged women, somewhat surly, most are not particularly attractive. Maybe they work because they have kids to support, maybe they're married, maybe not. And I'm sure they've
heard every "line" in the book from all you a-holes. Yeah, the first one I "noticed" was at the Worlds Largest Truckstop in Walcott, IA - I'll call her Susan. She was beautiful, friendly, very good waitress, and I would look foreward to seeing her every week (don't remember what day).
She must have been in her early 30's, with a couple of kids. Then one day I go in there and it's "She doesn't work here any more..." Oh shit! I didn't get a chance to...
Now comes Marissa (obviously not her real name). I first met her probably late spring/early summer of '06. You know how, when you see someone on a regular basis, but don't really "notice" them for several weeks, or even longer? That's the way it was with Marissa. I would go in there on Wednesdays, and yeah, she's beautiful and all, but I didn't really notice her until I started talking to her. See, there's where the problems started, I think, because I was immediately attracted to her. She is charming, clever, witty, great sense of humor, and sharp as a damn tack! She could match wits with me, line for line, and even make me look foolish - and I went to college, for Chrissakes! That really impressed me. Any questions I had about the place and their policies, she knew right off the top of her head. Those are the qualities that just knocked me out. I mean yeah, there was that killer smile, that jet black hair, her beautiful face. She has this accent, like Southern California, but I never got a chance to ask her if that's where she's from. I'd come in after a grueling trip out there, and I'd get a double shot: first the air conditioning would hit you, then that smile. It was like being shot with a laser. My old heart could barely stand it, lol.
Anyway, things went on like this for a while; I'd wake up Wednesday mornings in Rockford and think "Damn, today's the day I get to see Marissa (whooppeee!)" Hell, I'd bust my ass even
harder, so I could get my work done faster, so I could see her sooner. Is that insane, or what?
And it was sort of anti-climactic; I'd go in there, and she'd be so damn busy, I couldn't get but
30 seconds of her time ("sound bites," as I came to call them), and then my hour-long dinner would be over, and time to try and get some sleep. I'd try to eat slower and stuff, but you know, I still had to make it back to Chicago. Otherwise, I'd sit at the damn counter all night, just so I could watch her, ya know? The way she made those desserts, I'd think "Damn, I wish she'd pour chocolate on me like that!" (just kidding) And I'd walk in there and she'd say "Oh yeah, it's Wednesday..." like I became her personal calender or something. So I started falling for this young woman, and I mean hard. I pulled some really stupid moves, that, looking back, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking about. The first of these was over the holidays and, yep, you guessed it, I got her a Christmas present. It wasn't really that big or much, whatever, but that was probably the beginning of the end. See, I was trying to get close to her, establish some sort of a connection that could possibly lead to a friendship, but she would have none of it. The "chemistry"that I thought we shared was just in my mind, and it's a hard thing to accept now, because I could have sworn she felt it too, although she never let on. And it's not that I ever "wanted"anything, you know, physical, from her. I mean, I'm a married man, probably twice her age. Like Susan, she has many admirers, not that I ever felt "jealous" or in competition with any other truckers. I just wanted to talk with her, get to know her a little better; but to do that, I needed some of her time. That was the one commodity she absolutely would not share. In fact, she shared only what she wanted you to know about her, nothing more. I think part of that smile and attitude is from training, so they can get a bigger tip, I dunno. But I would always tip her more, just 'cause I liked her, and she really did do a wonderful job.
One time, I even offered to walk her to her car (how scary is that?) after she got off work. So, I'm standing outside, waiting for her to come out, and I'm thinking "Steve, what the FUCK are you doing?" And just then, I kid you not, a black cat walked past me. I was like "I gotta get outta here." That foolish and immature act, I think, is what turned her off to me for good. After that, even though I apologized, her smile didn't seem quite as dazzling. There were days when I'd go in, and she barely said "boo" to me. So I'm really kicking myself for that one. I don't know what the hell came over me.
So, now it's time to say goodbye. There were several weeks where I thought it was the end, when in fact, it wasn't. I'd say "Good luck, I'll miss you, have a nice life..." and she'd laugh and say "You make it sound as if you're dying." In a way, part of me was. Now it's over, and I have regrets, just like with Susan. I wish I'd had the chance to say some things, something that would maybe change her mind about me, but, I guess I'll never know. I gave her my number and everything, but she hasn't called, and now I realize that she never will. I mean, why would she?
What would she want with an old bastard like me? I'm just another trucker to her, just another customer, just another tip.
To Marissa: Hey, sweetie! I hope you get a chance to read this. Listen, I wanted to say "Thank you again for everything." You have been absolutely wonderful to me. I'm really sorry for behaving like a jerk in the past, and I hope you can forgive me. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I sure wish I had had the chance to know you a little better. I think you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life, and I know you'll succeed in whatever you decide to do. So good luck, have a nice life, and yes, I will miss you terribly. If it sounds as if I'm dying, it's because part of me is. If you ever have a change of heart (they say "absense makes the heart grow fonder") you know how to reach me. I will never forget you.
More soon,
Steve
Limp Bizkit "Eat you Alive"
Happy Easter, Everyone! This one is a bit difficult for me, because there are some emotions here that I'm still sorting through. What can I tell you about Marissa? Sounds like something from "The Sound of Music," doesn't it? All I'm going to say for now is that she works at a truckstop in Des Moines. I don't want her to catch too much hell for this. If you're a driver, and you visit the Des Moines area on a regular basis, you may have already run into her. See, I've seen my share of truckstop waitresses, and, with the exception of only a couple, they seem to be
middle-aged women, somewhat surly, most are not particularly attractive. Maybe they work because they have kids to support, maybe they're married, maybe not. And I'm sure they've
heard every "line" in the book from all you a-holes. Yeah, the first one I "noticed" was at the Worlds Largest Truckstop in Walcott, IA - I'll call her Susan. She was beautiful, friendly, very good waitress, and I would look foreward to seeing her every week (don't remember what day).
She must have been in her early 30's, with a couple of kids. Then one day I go in there and it's "She doesn't work here any more..." Oh shit! I didn't get a chance to...
Now comes Marissa (obviously not her real name). I first met her probably late spring/early summer of '06. You know how, when you see someone on a regular basis, but don't really "notice" them for several weeks, or even longer? That's the way it was with Marissa. I would go in there on Wednesdays, and yeah, she's beautiful and all, but I didn't really notice her until I started talking to her. See, there's where the problems started, I think, because I was immediately attracted to her. She is charming, clever, witty, great sense of humor, and sharp as a damn tack! She could match wits with me, line for line, and even make me look foolish - and I went to college, for Chrissakes! That really impressed me. Any questions I had about the place and their policies, she knew right off the top of her head. Those are the qualities that just knocked me out. I mean yeah, there was that killer smile, that jet black hair, her beautiful face. She has this accent, like Southern California, but I never got a chance to ask her if that's where she's from. I'd come in after a grueling trip out there, and I'd get a double shot: first the air conditioning would hit you, then that smile. It was like being shot with a laser. My old heart could barely stand it, lol.
Anyway, things went on like this for a while; I'd wake up Wednesday mornings in Rockford and think "Damn, today's the day I get to see Marissa (whooppeee!)" Hell, I'd bust my ass even
harder, so I could get my work done faster, so I could see her sooner. Is that insane, or what?
And it was sort of anti-climactic; I'd go in there, and she'd be so damn busy, I couldn't get but
30 seconds of her time ("sound bites," as I came to call them), and then my hour-long dinner would be over, and time to try and get some sleep. I'd try to eat slower and stuff, but you know, I still had to make it back to Chicago. Otherwise, I'd sit at the damn counter all night, just so I could watch her, ya know? The way she made those desserts, I'd think "Damn, I wish she'd pour chocolate on me like that!" (just kidding) And I'd walk in there and she'd say "Oh yeah, it's Wednesday..." like I became her personal calender or something. So I started falling for this young woman, and I mean hard. I pulled some really stupid moves, that, looking back, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking about. The first of these was over the holidays and, yep, you guessed it, I got her a Christmas present. It wasn't really that big or much, whatever, but that was probably the beginning of the end. See, I was trying to get close to her, establish some sort of a connection that could possibly lead to a friendship, but she would have none of it. The "chemistry"that I thought we shared was just in my mind, and it's a hard thing to accept now, because I could have sworn she felt it too, although she never let on. And it's not that I ever "wanted"anything, you know, physical, from her. I mean, I'm a married man, probably twice her age. Like Susan, she has many admirers, not that I ever felt "jealous" or in competition with any other truckers. I just wanted to talk with her, get to know her a little better; but to do that, I needed some of her time. That was the one commodity she absolutely would not share. In fact, she shared only what she wanted you to know about her, nothing more. I think part of that smile and attitude is from training, so they can get a bigger tip, I dunno. But I would always tip her more, just 'cause I liked her, and she really did do a wonderful job.
One time, I even offered to walk her to her car (how scary is that?) after she got off work. So, I'm standing outside, waiting for her to come out, and I'm thinking "Steve, what the FUCK are you doing?" And just then, I kid you not, a black cat walked past me. I was like "I gotta get outta here." That foolish and immature act, I think, is what turned her off to me for good. After that, even though I apologized, her smile didn't seem quite as dazzling. There were days when I'd go in, and she barely said "boo" to me. So I'm really kicking myself for that one. I don't know what the hell came over me.
So, now it's time to say goodbye. There were several weeks where I thought it was the end, when in fact, it wasn't. I'd say "Good luck, I'll miss you, have a nice life..." and she'd laugh and say "You make it sound as if you're dying." In a way, part of me was. Now it's over, and I have regrets, just like with Susan. I wish I'd had the chance to say some things, something that would maybe change her mind about me, but, I guess I'll never know. I gave her my number and everything, but she hasn't called, and now I realize that she never will. I mean, why would she?
What would she want with an old bastard like me? I'm just another trucker to her, just another customer, just another tip.
To Marissa: Hey, sweetie! I hope you get a chance to read this. Listen, I wanted to say "Thank you again for everything." You have been absolutely wonderful to me. I'm really sorry for behaving like a jerk in the past, and I hope you can forgive me. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. I sure wish I had had the chance to know you a little better. I think you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life, and I know you'll succeed in whatever you decide to do. So good luck, have a nice life, and yes, I will miss you terribly. If it sounds as if I'm dying, it's because part of me is. If you ever have a change of heart (they say "absense makes the heart grow fonder") you know how to reach me. I will never forget you.
More soon,
Steve
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