Illinois

"Illinois, I'm your boy..." Dan Fogleberg


Ah, good ol' Dan Fogleberg. When I was in Peoria in the late 70's, he was one of our "claims to fame," along with Richard Pryor. In fact, I think I went to high school with Richard Pryor's son,
but I'm not certain. So, I live in the flatlands, anyone know why I love it so? Well, speaking as a truck driver, it sure beats the shit out of hilly states like Missouri, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, etc.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure those places are lovely, I just don't wanna drive thru them, especially if I have a full load on, that's all. Hell, and I won't even mention the mountain states, in the winter time. I've had plenty of blizzard and white-out conditions right here in the midwest, thank you very much. Yep, just give me my flatlands, the central plains, and I'm a happy man. Now, I know all you OTR truckers are experience driving through the hills and all, and I tip my hat to ya, really. I remember when I had to pick up pepperoni in small-town central IA, and you'd have to make a right turn out onto the main road, which was a steep hill going up. So, you're starting off from a stop, turning onto a busy road, and going uphill in winter, with a full load on. It's not really scary, just challenging in it's own right. Shit, I've been watching this wonderful program on the History Channel called "Ice Road Truckers" - Sunday nights - now these guys are nuts! Hauling heavy mining equipment over frozen lakes in sub-zero temps, with little daylight, and, because there's no DOT (in Northern Canada), they put in 17+ hour-days. Now that's dangerous! Not worth risking your life to make some good cash. Obviously, it's worth it to them, but, like I said, they're a little crazy.
Look, I'm not like most of you guys. I'm happy just to put in my time (kinda like prison) at my job, and then go home. This is not a lifestyle to me, like I've said before, it's just a means to an end. I can appreciate those who DO choose trucking as a lifestyle; it's a big commitment: you have equipment to buy to furnish your truck, supplies. You have to be away from home days and weeks at a time. The larger vehicles you drive are more difficult to maneuver (backing, docking, etc.) You have to eat sub-standard truckstop food (it's not that bad, is it?) I actually prefer it to Mickey D's all the time, ya know? Anyway, I couldn't do what you guys and gals do, just like I'm sure you wouldn't want to do my job.
The other aspect of my home state that I want to address is speed; yeah, I'm kind of protective
of that, if that makes any sense. Look, I know you people are from states where the speed limit is 65+mph, but here in IL it's generally only 55 for trucks. In fact, coming out of IA on I80, we go from 70 for all vehicles, to 65 when you hit the quad cities ( I usually jump onto 280 to bypass, plus I have a delivery in Rock Island just off 280) and then 55 for trucks once you cross the river. I know 55mph is antiquated, and pretty unreasonable. I mean, no one should have to travel that slowly. But people, it's the damn LAW! This isn't friggin Montana, where you can drive as fast as you please, because there's nobody around. This is civilization; there are populated areas here! The rule of thumb I live by is this: "Nine is fine, 10 you're mine..." thanks to the Bob and Tom radio program (funny as hell, by the way) who apparently know some state troopers that use this "over-the-speed-limit" rule. I don't drive 55, like I said, it's unreasonable, but I don't blow the speed limit away, either. Many of you people do, don't deny it, you know who you are. I'm not an agent for the Illinois State Police or anything, although sometimes I wish I had them on speed dial to report some of you assholes. In fact, I point and laugh when I see one of 'em pulled over ("Ha-ha" Nelson from The Simpsons). Look, I don't wish any misfortune to anyone, but if you're driving like an asshole, then, you should suffer the consequences. That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it. So, I'm usually in the middle of the pack: I'll pass a few slower trucks ("obeyers" is what I call them - tip of the hat to Eric Idle from Monty Python "Is your wife a goer? Nudge, nudge, wink wink" "Are you an obeyer?"), but most
trucks are passing me, and not just passing, but blowing me away. Like I've said before, I don't give a shit if everyone and their grandmother passes me, as long as they don't fuck with me. That means tailgating me before they pass, cutting right in front, and not acknowledging my signal to pass. That last one pisses me off more than anything (along with not using turn signals). It's very rude, but most drivers don't give a shit anymore. Courtesy is going the way of the cab over engine truck - fading out of existence. So, it's every man and woman for themselves, now, right? Kinda sad, as far as I'm concerned.
Ok, that's my rant for this week - I just wish some of you would slow the fuck down a bit, that's all. What's the damn hurry? I have a schedule, too, and I am able to keep it, without driving like a maniac (like many of our 4-wheel friends out there - I'll discuss them in an upcoming post).
Yeah, so I'm happy as a pig in shit just to be here, and to be from IL. Wanna make something of it?

More soon,

Steve