Friday, December 1, 2006

"Breaker 19"

My experience with CB radios has been pretty limited, so I'm certainly not an authority on the subject. However, I will relate my own personal experiences here. In my current job, we don't really use CB's. The main reason is because we don't have assigned equipment, so I don't know what truck/trailer I'll have from one run to the next. That means, if you want to use your CB, you must install it each time you go out, and take it with you each time you leave (otherwise it will "grow legs"). Some guys do this; it's kind of a pain, the wiring, hooking up to the antenna(e),
etc. But it is a useful tool, especially in winter and times of severe weather and traffic. I have just chosen not to deal with the hassle, and go without it - I really don't need it (CB's are for pussies! LOL).
My first experience was during my first job with a major carrier (I was officially a CDL trainee).
Actually, now that I think about it, my dad bought a new car with a CB radio in it in the late 70's.
It's true. Of course, I'd heard C.W. McCall's "Convoy" in the 70's, and seen some trucker movies,
but still didn't really know how to work the thing. I wrecked that '78 Olds 98 Regency a couple
of weeks after my parents bought it (I nearly bought it). They hadn't even made the first payment on it. So, in perspective, the CB radio wasn't really as remarkable as you would think.
But I digress. My driver-trainer taught me some of the lingo, most of which I've since forgotten.
(e.g., "skateboard" is a flatbed, African-American drivers are referred to as "Canadians" by some, etc.) I don't know if these terms are still in use, since the vernacular seems to be an evolving thing. I actually used the phrase "good buddy," again, recalling "Covoy." BUZZER! Wrong! My trainer said "Don't say Good Buddy! It means you're gay! Oops! Others have shown me other phrases: "Baby doll," is a "Lot lizard" (truckstop prostitute, never seen one), etc. Like I said the CB can be a useful tool, although most of the time it's just guys (and gals) jibber-jabbering about nothing. Makes the time go by, I guess.
The one time it came in handy for me was a year or so ago. I was coming back from Iowa, like usual. Another driver had left his CB in the truck by mistake, so I took advantage and used it, turning it off and on at various times in my trip. It must have been about 5 -5:30 in the morning, and I was eastbound on 80, I was approaching Morris, Illinois, just outside of Joliet, when the radio started crackling with excited voices. "You'd better get off here, eastbound, or you'll be sitting here a while." Apparently, a livestock truck had overturned, and was on its side, blocking both lanes of eastbound traffic. I must have been only about ten minutes behind it, because I could see the brakelights ahead of me. Of course, like a ninny, I didn't exit there (I think it's Illinois 41) and creeped up to where the line of vehicles came to standstill. Fortunately,
listening to the other drivers hollering directions over the radio, I was able to get into the left lane, then boldly make a U-turn on a police-strip on the median, and get back to 41 south to US6 eastbound. For those unlucky bastards who were right behind it, or not paying attention, I guess it turned out to be an all-day proposition. There were rumors of pigs/cows running around all over the highway, which I don't think were true, but I was able to circumvent the
whole situation, just because I had the radio. I hope the driver was ok. You never like to see, or hear about someone rolling a big-rig, although it seems to happen every day. But that is for another chapter...