Monday, July 6, 2009

Back to the Grind...

Yeah, I've been on vacation this past week, and, as usual, got squat done. I dunno what it is, but I have absolutely NO motivation when I'm off. I make a long list of things to do ( I know I've whined about this in the past), and, before you know it, it's time to get back to work, and the whole list is still there. The wife is very supportive - "You should relax, you're on vacation," she
says, but it's of little comfort. Then I get down on myself for not accomplishing anything.
So, I wanted to talk about drinking: I "quit" drinking a few years back, a conscious choice on my part. It really had nothing to do with outside influences, social or otherwise. I just decided that I really didn't need alcohol to make me feel good. Besides, alcohol depresses the brain, which is the last thing I need (being depressed and all). Why not choose stimulants, one might ask. Well, most are illegal (caffeine is my drug of choice), and I really need to be more aware of what I'm putting into the ol' body, a know? Of course, this past week was also the week I was to quit smoking - HA! I always refer back to the saying "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit again..."
See, the difference is that nicotine is highly addictive, where, at least for me, alcohol is not. Just like when I gave up smoking pot in my 20's, I had no "withdrawals" or even missed it that much. Same with booze. I realize it's a big part of our society and culture. "Hey, let's get together for a drink..." But, I guess I try not to put myself into those situations, consciously or un.
There are occasions when I'll have the random beer; my wife's aunt & uncle used to have a big party Christmas Eve, called the "open house," where relatives and friends would gather for great Italian cooking, and, of course, a couple of cocktails. That was the one night of the year when I would indulge. They didn't live far from us, and all the food absorbed most of the alcohol anyway.
Do I sound like an addict? I dunno, my wife would drive home if I ever drank too much, which was rare. However, in recent years, her uncle passed away, and her aunt was a little too frail and overwhelmed to continue the "open house" tradition. It's kind of sad, 'cause it was a really fun occasion. So, I have to find another day to have my one beer. We went out for father's day, and I had a Sam Adams Summer Ale. Boy, was that good.
I guess I believe that drinking is part of the "dumbing down" of our society: I'm not a prude, and moderate consumption of alcohol is OK with me. It's just these people every weekend, and every holiday, who have to get liquored up, just to have a good time. We just had Fourth of July, and mixing alcohol with high explosives is a sure way to get into trouble. I don't wish harm to anyone, but people just don't THINK! Same is true for those who get behind the wheel after drinking; I just don't understand it. I suppose growing up with an alcoholic father has something to do with my attitude. He recovered, thank God, but the just horrific stories and incidents I could tell you has left me a bit jaded on the whole "partying" scene. I came to learn about, and be on the fringes of 12-step recovery milieu. I never really got into the whole ACOA/Al-Anon life, but perhaps I should have, I don't know. Anyway, all I know is, I don't miss the "sauce," and can have a nice time without it.

More soon,

Steve