Sunday, April 1, 2007

Iowa, pt. 2

"People on 'ludes should not drive, huhh, huhhhhhh...." Jeff Spiccoli (Sean Penn), in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High"

So, I've had my adventures out there in Iowa, but nothing really spectacular or out of the ordinary. Other than the "reefer" troubles I've mentioned before, the one that sticks out in my mind is the time I almost got caught in a blizzard. By the way, if you are from the State of Iowa, or have a particular affinity for that state, please don't be offended by my remarks here. I really have nothing against Iowa at all. In fact, they've treated me quite nicely out there, unlike other states (Michigan, et al). Yeah, so I have a special delivery up by Mason City (about an hour north of Des Moines on I35), and all goes pretty smoothly. This must be about January, and they're predicting some heavy weather, but it hasn't hit yet. I think "No big deal..." So I get done, and I'm running out of time. The only truckstop around was this dinky little place, but I have no choice, so I stop. They have a restaurant, and I eat, go into the berth, my regular routine. I wake up about 3 in the morning, and there's like 2 feet of snow on the ground. Great.
The bigger problem is the store doesn't open til 5 or something, and I'm Jonesing for coffee - I HAVE to have my coffee in the morning, no matter how bad it is. I remember I had to rock the truck just to get outta there, and I head south. I was lucky to even get back onto the highway, because they have these gates at the exit ramps, when they shut down the interstates. Maybe someone forgot, I dunno, or I just made it outta there, but it was blowing and drifting real good.
I remember passing a Flying J on the way, so I pull in there, 'cause I'm really hurting for coffee right now, find a hole, pull in (now I gotta back out), and go get my coffee. It was pretty harrowing, but you just keep your composure, take it easy, and it all works out in the end. By the time I got back to Des Moines, not a drop of snow on the ground. That was actually the worst experience I've had out there, and that wasn't too bad. I've heard of guys being stranded for hours, even days, when they close the roads. I'm talking Minnesota, Nebraska, etc. Those gates on the exit ramps really surprised me, though. I'd never seen that before.
So, here are my impressions of the towns of Iowa, at least those I've been to: Dubuque, nice, small city, right on the Mighty Miss., I'm not a big fan of hills, though, especially in winter, so I don't think I'd want to live on a "bluff". Very pretty, scenic, even. Waterloo, again, nice little city
I deliver to, I don't really go through the heart of the town, so I can't comment on the town as a whole, but it seems nice. Lots of college cuties from UNI (University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, "sister city"?). Anyway, there's a Ryder right there in Cedar Falls, and I used to deliver a couple of stores over there, so I kinda know my way around. See, my impression is that a lot of Iowa is pretty "white bread," (as most of the Midwest is) you know, a lot of white people, lots of farmers, not too much in the way of trouble, crime, etc. I may be wrong, and I'm sure there are trouble spots, especially in the bigger towns, but most of the places I've delivered to (malls and strip malls), I just keep the truck running, do my delivery, no problems. I mean, the biggest challenges I've faced out there are just dealing with other truck traffic. Shit, if that's the only problem I ever have, I'll be a happy man! Now Cedar Rapids ("Smelly Town," as I call it); I'm sure it has some nice ares, suburbs, whatever, but the smell! OMG! I think of that song by the Police ("Factories belching filth into the air...) I dunno what kind, I think there's at least one or two chemical plants, a food processing plant or two, maybe even paper mill, but God, I don't know how people can live there, honestly! It's that yeasty, sulphury smell that makes ya wanna hurl! I shouldn't complain too much, I only had to deliver there once every other week.
Des Moines, the largest city, and capitol, again very nice. I've had no problems there, either. There's traffic, but hell, there's traffic everywhere nowadays. People drive just about the same as they do in Chicago (badly!) Ya know, I think ,there's corn, then Des Moines, then corn. It does seem to be growing, judging by all the new construction, and probably a nice place to live. Anyway, the people I've met and dealt with have all been pretty terrific out in Iowa, so kudos to you! They're changing my route, so I won't be "penetrating" into the state westward as I've done. I'll just be going from Dubuque, down to the Quad Cities, then back to Chi-town (nobody ever calls it that, by the way). Then, in place of my local city route, they're sending me back up to Cheeseland! You know what state that is, don't you? Or do I have to spell it out? LOL

More soon,

Steve